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Thursday, December 27, 2007

Twins Christmas Gifts

Hello MVB readers, now that the stockings have been removed from the chimney, the wrapping paper is thrown away, and everyone's belt loops are loosened a few notches it is time to give out a few more gifts. Here is the 2007 Twins Christmas Gifts...

To- Joe Mauer
I give you my healthy knees. We need you to play more than the 109 games that you played last year. I don't care if you're hitting in the DH role, catcher, third base, whatever. But Mauer needs 500 at bats. The only time he achieved this in his 4-year career he won the batting title.

To- Nick Punto
I bought you a new Mongo bat. This children's neon green bat with a 10 inch diameter should hopefully raise your dismal .210 batting average.

To- Delmon Young
I along with your new home in Minnesota remove the monkey off your back. You came close to a Rookie of the Year award in the pressure of Tampa Bay fans calling you the savior while still not forgetting the "thrown bat" incident. Hopefully you will flourish in Minny.

To- Torii Hunter
I place the monkey on your back. Actually, about 50,000 monkeys called Rally Monkeys. Angels fans won't like seeing your signature whiffs when they're paying you $90 million. I wish you the best and hate to see you leave, but I think the odds are against you.

To- GM Bill Smith
I give you a crystal ball so that you can make sure you make the right offseason moves. In an offseason where Torii left, you traded one young pitcher for a young hitter, signed a new left side of the infield, and will soon trade the best pitcher on the planet you will need to predict the future.

To- old GM Terry Ryan
We love you and all the years you made the Twins competitive with a team salary that rivaled ARod's. But I give you a brown paper bag. Because when Santana, Hunter, and Joe Nathan come back to the Metrodome fans are going to wonder why we didn't sign these guys to long term contracts earlier. You may need to hide yourself in that new "consultant" role.

To- new SS Adam Everett
Just realized Mongo bats are buy 1 get 1 free. So I thought I'd get two so you can learn to hit this season too.

To- Scott Baker
I give you two more outs. So that this season Mike Sweeney won't break up your perfect game with one out in the 9th inning.

To- Francisco Liriano
I'm giving you a helping hand. Not only are we expecting you to bounce back to your 2006 form after a tremendous Tommy John surgery, but you may also be expected to replace Santana and become the staff ace.

Finally... To- All Twins fans
I give the excitement of a new season approaching along with the patience of a new era. The team that takes the field in 2008 will be very different than last year and may have new expectations. But I like what I've seen so far from new GM Bill Smith and I believe at the least the young Twins will be a very exciting team to watch and at best have the potential to surprise the Central division teams as the underdog team.

MVB readers... if you have any last minutes gifts let me hear what you bought for the Twins?

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