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Saturday, October 11, 2008

Off the TePoel

So here is one of those exciting new things that we're bringing to Twins MVB in 2009. A new weekly columnist! Off the TePoel is written by a good friend of mine Dain TePoel (sounds like Tea-Pole). Dain is joining the MVB team with a vast knowledge of baseball and deep passion through the good and the bad times of Minnesota Twins Baseball. Plus, Dain will bring MVB a sometimes "biting reality" to Twins baseball. Here is the first installment of Off the TePoel...

Twins 2009...We've got speed, but not so fast!

The Twins have shown they like keeping mediocre crowd pleasers around (see Matthew LeCroy and Lew Ford) but this team needs to start thinking about building a World Series contender as Mauer and Morneau head into their prime, not keeping fan favorites at cheap rates to increase their profit from increased ticket sales in 2010.

Twins General Manager Bill Smith stated on the team's website that signing Mike Redmond was the first step in looking forward to 2009. For a team filled with speed, signing this slow-footed catcher who played in one more game than his age (37) in 2008 accomplishes what exactly? It's negligible. Like eating two or three dollar dogs, heck, just go ahead and have four. It makes no difference.

Twins devotees love Redmond because of his .292 career batting average, clubhouse leadership and installation of the "Smell 'Em" campaign in 2006. He also likes to run around nude in the clubhouse. And Red-dog is sharing the love right back atcha', dome dwellers. The man's career is ending, and he wants to retire a Twin. Awww.

The Twins compete, play his brand of baseball, and in case you hadn't heard, are going to be playing ball in one of them brand new ballparks! Redmond got the memo. "I'm hoping that maybe we can talk about me possibly being there when that new stadium opens in 2010 too." Right. When you're almost 40. But hey, Twins fans just can't get enough of your clutch 2-out singles on those day games, and that's your bargaining plea to not end up a Pittsburgh Pirate.

Are the Twins concerned about winning division titles and championships, or playing baseball just that much closer to Sex World? I'm starting to wonder because after 81 more dome games, this baseball version of the Greatest Show on Turf will be (gasp!) playing on grass. Since 2006, all the Twins have been talking about is the new stadium. Even Torii Hunter as an Angel will be in tears in 2010 when he steps in as the Right Fielder (oh snap!) for his Target Field debut. But have they forgotten about the third of a decade in between?

Look at the Rays in the dome look alike. Remind you of the Twins? And for good reason. They've got speed, good pitching, and excellent defense. But they also have power, a word missing from Twins managements' vocabulary. The Twins need power to balance their offensive prowess.

Punto. Thanks for your dedicated service. Now take a hike. Cuddy, I love you like a brother, but you are not going to hit 25 homers or produce over 100 RBIs ever again. Do you think a Yankees or Red Sox fan would put up with your declining numbers? Sentimental Twins fans don't demand enough from their team, a Minnesota nice flaw. Start asking for a championship every year, just like they do out east and west.

So please, enough warm fuzzies. Mr. Smith, go sign a shortstop and a third baseman. For once, go after the proven producers and bring one more World Series to the beloved marshmallow bubble. Enter Target Field as World Series champs, not happy to be here chumps.

The coupon cutting Twins are one step ahead. Geniuses, really. Why pay that much for a chance at the World Series when the new stadium generates year-after-a World Series attendance on its own? All the Twins need is a team good enough to keep selling tickets after the novelty has worn off.

The Twins are just too good to settle like this. The staff is maturing quickly. The young outfield is fast and dangerous. The bullpen: Mijares, a healthy Neshek, and Nathan. Sounds like W's whipping into Redmond's bullpen catching glove. Gardenhire and Rick Anderson are the best in the game at what they do. They deserve a shot at the Big Show.

Target Field, Twins fans can't wait. But unlike Hubert H., your natural grass, Mankato limestone, and unpredictable weather conditions can't help the home nine Homer Hanky its way to 7th Heaven.


Scott D. Meyer said...

love it dainage. let's get a bat and defend morneau and see what numbers he can put up!

Blake said...

Dain, you make me feel like I know more about the insides of baseball than I actually do. WHen will you work for the Twins already?

MVB said...

Hey Blake! Thanks so much for checking out Twins MVB. Dain does have a great voice of reason when it comes to the Twins doesn't he?

I wanted to direct you to our new site: twinsmvb.com

You'll find Dain's new work there!